Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Randomize
