p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Randomize
