Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
