So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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