i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Randomize
