Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
