i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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