Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
