If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
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