I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
