Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
