summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize