I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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