i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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