Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
