Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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