I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
COCAINE IS GR8
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Randomize
