I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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