My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
