return my video game
Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
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