fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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