Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
