oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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