i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
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