dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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