We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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