just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
