I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
You smell like stripper and shame
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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