haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
