My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize