so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
