i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
