ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Randomize
