There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize
