Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
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