Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
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