everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
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