i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
