I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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