dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
