clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
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