whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Randomize
