Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
