I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
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