Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize