He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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