just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
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