I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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