After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
