something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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