he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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