they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize