turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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