Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
