The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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