dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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