She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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