So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
