i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
