i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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